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Feeling sad

July 26th, 2008 at 02:59 pm

Weekends are always hard these days. My friends are spread out all through out the world and it's hard to catch up. BF and I are having problems and I don't know if it will get better with time. Everybody seems to be having a nice summer, enjoying going out, camping etc. It's a lonely feeling to see everybody else enjoying themselves and me? When will I have all of that? Friends have their own lives to think about and live. It used to be different when we were younger. Now it's different. Husbands and kids always come first. Even your very good friends have no time for you because they have their own issues to deal with. But sometimes it makes me think if it was them having a bad time, I would care more. I would call over the weekend to see how that person is doing. Because weekends are specially harder. Maybe it's just me. But I don't really enjoy having rushed conversations over the phone whenever it's convenient to them -- while they are driving or waiting for something. It would mean so much more if they actually made time for me. Oh well. I guess live and learn.

5 Responses to “Feeling sad”

  1. momcents Says:

    Why don't you take the initiative and see if one of your friends could join you for a breakfast out or a walk in the park?

    My best friend and I go through the same thing that you are describing. I have five kids, a DH who works two jobs, help run a rental property business, and am constantly on the go with the kids. She is single, no kids, and tons of time on her hands. I would love if she would want to drop over from time to time just to hang out with me and my family. She usually ends up mad at me because I can't drop what I'm doing and run over. Then she won't talk to me when I do call and tries to lay a 'guilt trip' on me. You don't sound like that kind of person at all, and I'm sure your friends would like to spend time with you.

  2. sillyoleme Says:

    I understand both sides of this. I've usually always been the friend with a steady boyfriend, lots going on, etc., and sometimes my old friends would give me "guilt trips" for not wanting to do everything they did. The thing is, they are all still in a different stage in their life (still in college, partying, single)... and I have a good job, steady boyfriend, and other priorities.

    It's not that I didn't want to hang out with them, but I always wished there was some middle ground. Like, I would gladly have met them for drinks one night, or went shopping, or to the movies, whatever. But they always wanted to call at the last minute, and then get mad when I already had plans or something to do.

    On the flip side - I have been depressed lately too. Especially since I just got back from a work conference where the other young associates were all driving new cars with satellite radios and navigation systems, dressed in nice clothes, etc. I don't have that luxury because BF & I are trying to pay off debt, save for doggy surgery, and paying VERY expensive rent so that I can work in this location for my training. It makes me so jealous, and it just seems unfair that we have all earned the same "job", but their lives are so much different than mine.

    I guess my advice is, see if you can find some middle ground with your friends... you shouldn't feel like they are rushing you or are only having time for you when it's convenient for them. See if you can schedule a girl's night a week in advance, or two weeks even. And in between times, if you and your BF aren't getting along well, just go out and do something social yourself. It is amazing how much better I feel by just taking a drive to town, or taking a walk, etc. If all else fails, I usually will call my mom and just talk for a while.

    I hope you feel happier soon... just know that you are not the only one that feels this way (me too), and there is fun to be had!

  3. Broken Arrow Says:

    Hmm. I don't know what to say except I am sorry to hear that. I hope things will improve somehow for you.

  4. fern Says:

    Maybe they don't fully realize the problems you are having. You may have to take the initiative and get together with some of them. I hope things get better.

  5. Amber Says:

    Remember the grass is not always greener on the other side. It may seem like they are having a good time but you never know they maybe swimming in debt and feuding every day. I have a friend who drives a Mercedes, live in a big house,her husband drives a huge SUV and they are always going on trips,in addition they have all these water toys (jet skis) now she may not be able to walk for graduation because she owes her school $2000
    I also agree with Fern...keep your head up it will get better

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